The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers additional resources have actually fallen into the Get the facts Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Lots of gay men want to find out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, Look At This and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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